A letter to my 16 year old (cute) self

To:  16 Year Old Self

                    Dear younger me, by the time you read this letter - you would be around my age or older. I write this letter in order to bash you for being so ignorantly naive about life and being less stupidly optimistic than your older self. I am here to tell you that your SPM or your Secondary Level Exams result does not matter. So what, if you managed to achieve grades with flying colors? When you are out there to work - no one actually wants to even know how you fare in secondary level educations or even bother to offer fucks if you brag about it.

There are many things that I do not want you to regret about when you reach my age, and I will list them down now - so make sure you take proper effort to widen your eyes and read them line-by-line, word-by-word you dipshit.

First and foremost; lose some fucking weight. No one takes you seriously until you lose those flabs and that double chin. People may tell you that it's okay to be fat since you're tall and whatnot, but I tell you - that advice is created by fat tall people, for fat tall people to feel better about themselves. It is never too early to start working out. It is never too early to eat healthy and exercise. Go, jog with your beloved pet - at which I will tell you straight out. She is going to be poisoned and put to sleep in two years time, so spend more time with her before you regret it.

Losing weight means people will finally look at you differently. You are no longer the snob that minds not what he eats, no longer the person looked down upon by others because you sweat a lot at hot places and get exhausted fairly quickly when doing a light chore. Don't be influenced by peer pressure. Live for yourself and be yourself, except thinner.

Secondly, do what you love to do - no matter what they say, no matter what critiques may throw at you. I do know that you love singing and voice acting in Japanese. I do know your mom and dad opposes this hobby, they feel that it is meaningless and stupid. In three years time, you are going to be mad addicted to KPOP, and even be in a depression because you cannot be in Korea, and you dont have the chance to become even a KPOP trainee even if you actually have talent buried inside you somewhere. It is hard for even me to tell you how not to be depressed - but depression is a painful thing. It feels like your heart is being pierced by needles, nails, glass - sharp objects, name it and it'l be there. You will not feel like doing anything else, but lie down in your bed and look sad all day. Your parents won't be very fond of this, and you will be ostracized. Fear not, this depression will only last for three to four months and you will be yourself again after you realize that you will never be able to become a KPOP trainee because you have reached the age limit for audition.

Continue singing on Youtube, you do not need to earn money and publicity. Just sing because you love to sing. Likes and comments from the public are just an added cherry on the cake you have baked. Update your videos more often, stop being a picky perfectionist that only uploads videos with perfect EVERYTHING. Look back at your old videos and realize that what is in them is not quality - but interest, happiness and ultimately uniqueness. 

Thirdly, do not be afraid of people. This does not mean that people should be afraid of you either - take initiative to know people, say hi to people. Make more friends - because ultimately your career is built on the number of friends you know. Having more friends also mean that you get to learn a lot of things from them, which is the basis of "Wisdom is Having Wise Friends".

There are many other things I want to advice and nail into you before you grow up, but I will narrow it down to three for now - not that I will send any more letters to you, because I feel that one is plenty. Things like "appreciate your unlimited internet, you will lose it in five years time" doesn't seem important enough - so I will let you learn how to handle them by yourself.

So until we meet; eat healthy, lose weight - appreciate everyone and love what you do.

Sincerest Regards,

Your 21 Year Old Self

Garden Diary Review (Mobile App)

Recently, I got into Garden Diary - a mobile application game by Windbell. I actually played Dungeon Diary by the same creator, so the mechanics were actually quite similar. 

When you first started the game, you will be prompted to create your main character (in terms of his/her appearance and name). This character will be the only character that is the most loyal - completing achievements in game will allow you to create another character to accompany your main character, but they will have a loyalty bar that either increases or drops whenever you finish or fail a quest respectively. Allies hired from pubs will presumeably have the same features as your other characters, but they're too costly to hire for a stingy gamer such as I. Something might happen once the loyalty bar hits 0, but I am not looking forward to find out!

The game features dungeons you can send your characters too (currently I only have two characters and Reborn Forest available for me). There are few types of dungeons; namely Free Quest, Collection, Escort and Extermination. Free Quests would be the one done more often to farm - and when it looks easy or possible to overcome, Escort and even Extermination (Extermination is the hardest). The dungeons may have multiple areas, increasing in difficulty in tandem with a higher area number selected to explore.

Once every dungeon exploration is complete, your characters will obtain stat points which you can invest. My character named Thanathos is purely wisdom based (as I have obtained a rule which allows him to cast spells with an 83% probability). Aeon, on the other hand is purely strength - explaining his high health (heart symbol) and physical attack (the sword symbol) compared to Thanathos' high magical attack (cane symbol). The shoe symbol indicates speed, which might influence the speed of which the dungeon is completed (Exploring to AREA 3 takes 1 hour). The blue star symbol indicates stress level, which increases if the character dies in battle. If you look closely, you can see the loyalty sign next to Aeon.

When the dungeon is completed successfully, items can be obtained. Most of the time, I sell these items as they have not much use for me currently. At the beginning of the game, I collected some wood to craft weapons for my characters, but now I just sell them. I keep the seemingly important stuff given to me by escorted NPCs, seeds that can be used to beautify my garden and eggs - but thats it. 

 

You get to have your own garden, in which the land are bought by using tickets of real estates. Seeds you obtain from completing dungeons can be planted here, but so far I still do not know the purpose of the growth besides making the garden look more pleasant to the eyes. You can dig for stuff in your garden and even hatch an egg here (I hatched a chicken but it ran away, IKR. Such randomness). You can give LOVE to your flowers and chickens once per day even if they are at a baby stage, and the dialogue is very funny to look at. "Some Seed Laughed", "Egg is Pleased" etc.

You get to pay to go into the Pub every day for free daily items (source of rule lottery ticket for your rules and free character tickets and other stuff). The more money you use to go into the Pub, the more the Pub earns - and that allows it to upgrade the spaces for allies that you can see inside the Pub and other (still unknown to me) stuff.

Gameplay wise, I give this game a 7/10 because it is that unique. I know of many games by Windbell, and the art is very cute and entertaining. The UI or User Interface to the game is also very friendly to first time players, if you know what you are doing. Although the translation done on the game is only so, so - it is basically still understandable and adds to the laughs. The ads are also pleasant - the game does not play video ads without permission like some other apps and leave advertisments in small windows that do not disrupt gameplay.

Looking forward to more from Windbell, Garden Diary has indeed captured my heart.

XOXO

KiiKii the Yu

Resignation, Retirement and Breaks

Recently, my dad told us that he was tired of working and wanted a break - and to work as close to home as possible. No one was surprised, really. This was following the recent cases of horrifying aircraft incidents such as hijacks and attacks, and my dad just so happens to be a pilot. Not for an airplane, but for a helicopter (but who cares, its still an aircraft). Inclusive of the fact that Ebola had just started to get into his country of work - his retirement plan is now becoming seemingly a necessity instead of a want.

As the main breadwinner in the family, he works hard to fund all four of his children's education - to a tertiary level, which is no walk in the park; so him wanting to take a well deserved rest is no biggie, really.

I, as the youngest in the family is still pursuing my bachelor studies (third year as in 2014) - with a simple 20% scholarship as there was no better scholarship scheme that fitted my background (Yeah, I am an honest guy that wont dare input false information for a scholarship), and this current scholarship is a bit of a foul because a CGPA of 3.75 is to be maintained for the scholarship to carry forward, and it is just 20% of the fees. I know of better scholarship schemes that offer a full payment of school fees with just a constant maintenance of a 2.00 CGPA, and to think I couldnt apply for it because of my background status (like income, etc) that I didn't dare to forge. 

Maintaining a CGPA of 3.75 sounds easy, but it actually isn't. The GPA corresponding to the marks are as such:

80% - 4.00 GPA

75 - 80% - 3.67 GPA

- - -

- which means that I am only allowed to obtain at least more than 80% for all four subjects and have only a few chances to pull the continuous CGPA up if I slip on a few subjects, but not all. The truth is hard and painful, like running into a brick wall. And there is nothing much I can do, except complain and pray that a better scholarship scheme will run headfirst into me; and that chance is also getting slimmer. No one in the right mind will offer a scholarship scheme to a third year student, finishing in another year. 

This painful fact is why I try so hard in my studies, though many people might see me as lifeless and booky. I have put aside a few best friends to study, and I regret that deeply even though I don't feel as if I have a choice. I wanted to apologize to them; but I feel as if I will be that little brat that apologizes and then does the same mistake again - and again. 20% is not much, but if it can lessen my dad's burden then it means a lot to me. 

I still fear of the day when this scholarship crumbles, even though I try so damn hard to redeem myself in it's grace. I fear of the day my dad will have to work harder even though he wants a break - just to pay for my studies, just to fund something that should no longer hold any more importance to him.

My dad had been trying to offer me the best - he wants me to study overseas, live overseas, experience the life overseas. I tried nicely everytime to offer a counter-excuse to refuse. Why? Because I know he will have to work harder. I know that he will have to suffer in order for me to obtain a meager half-baked experience overseas. Even though the offer seems too good to be true, I would rather work hard with my own sweat and blood to obtain what I want. I know of a few people that have practically begged their family for a chance to be overseas - I do not think of them as spoiled, there might be a pinch of envy in one corner of my heart; but I am happy for them.

I have just started my internship programme last month, on the 14th of June 2014. Working as a trial for not even a year, or thirty years up like my dad - I have already felt depressed and tired. I had practically not much time to do what I loved and wanted, and that was enough to give me suicidal thoughts. Thankfully, my brain had more control over my heart. I am grateful to my brain for self-inducing stupidly optimistic reasons for me to live on - and so I did. This is one of the reasons I felt that my dad should be able to rest if he wants to rest - putting aside the fact that many hap-hazardous incidents are threatening his life.

After the announcement this morning, I went online and looked for reasons that people may retire and what might happen to them; and I became more understanding towards my dad's plea for a break. If you want to read more about it, you can read it here: http://www.financialsamurai.com/the-dark-side-of-early-retirement-risks-dangers/

I just hope that my dad will not feel like he is useless in society's eyes after he takes a break - and if he continues looking for a new job in his homecountry, then I hope that he gets a relaxing job.

XOXO

KiiKii the Yu

 

Similarities between PKO and KDS

I have been wondering for a very long time, but it seems that no one else noticed that there is a very distinct similarity of the music in PKO (Pirate King Online)/ TOP(Tales of Pirates) with the movie Kiki's Delivery Service - Studio Ghibli.

There are two instances of this that I have spotted:

1 ) Similarity between Argent City music (PKO/TOP) and Umi no Mieru Machi (City with an Ocean View, Kiki's Delivery Service).

2) Similarity between PKO/TOP Title Screen Music and On a Clear Day (Kiki's Delivery Service)

So I was just wondering if they cooperated together, since it was really (apparently) quite obvious :>

If they did, its wonderful. If they didn't, then it would be a disaster since Studio Ghibli is really aggresive when it comes to copyrights :S

Just in Case :O

At work today (internship) I was scavenging through circuit boards to find useful stuff so that my friend can find something to test the Arduino Board out with. While looking at the board, some white stuff stuck to my hand, and I realized that it was from some gluish chemical used to stick wire casings to the insides of inductors. It smelt awful, really chemicalish (is that even a word) and I am very sure it might have been toxic and harmful to humans. However, I can't keep the thought of testing to see if it really is poisonous out of my mind. Like I was really tempted to stick the finger that got hold of the white substance in my mouth and see if I am still okay for the rest of the day - but I did not. Right after that train of thought have passed, I was again visited by another similarly directed thought. Just in case I accidentally took in some of the toxic and got into a horrible state, I might as well take it first so that I won't have to worry so much about getting into this "horrible" state in the future.

This might seem really complicated, so I thought of a few examples (not true) to explain this conflicted feeling.

Example 1

So I needn't worry about getting my leg injured later on, I purposely injure it first so that I can feel the relief of needing to worry.

Example 2

So I needn't worry about accidentally breaking the glass decoration on the fireplace later on, I break it first on purpose.

Example 3

So I needn't worry about the rain dousing the laundry, I wet them with the hose.

Example 4

So I needn't worry about my wallet being stolen or lost, I throw them away first.

And other stuff like that. I know it might seem illogical and even insensible to practice, but some time your brain just feels like fucking around - resulting in one of the many choices to make becoming corrupted and inpractical.

Sometimes, it might be as simple as - I might get in trouble with the teacher sooner or later, so to avoid that I will create trouble now and get pass that stage. 

Unbelievable?

Believe it.

Weed your yard, they won't grow, I promise.

Bullsh*t.

The story goes like this. I was promised to never need to lay my hands on wild weed again if I helped to clear out weed from the time my house was still unbuilt. After all these time, house built and now occupied - here they are again, growing like nobody's business and I have to spend my peaceful weekends outside; weeding when I have more fun things to do like lying down on the floor doing absolutely nothing while looking at the pale serene ceiling.

On a side note, I have gotten an internship offer which I have been doing for four weeks and counting. I am not a very excellent worker I can notice. Still striving to improve - and yeah; grades dont f*cking matter because grades dont help you be good at practical stuff you have to actually do with your arms and legs.  The working hours are 0930 to 1830, which I think is pretty flexible even though I mostly leave the workplace at 1900. Instead of working every Saturday for half a day, I work full time every alternate Saturdays instead.

Free time? Too bad I am an engineer to be. 

However, I do have free time on Sunday which I HAVE TO FILL UP BY WEEDING THE GARDEN WTF SUCH BOREDOME and so you could say things are going pretty well.

I did read up on how to SUCCESSFULLY remove weeds via "REMOVING WEEDS FOR IDIOTS" and what goes on is that we should mow our grass at a fixed height instead of *insert random height from ground* so it prevents sunlight from reaching those pesky weed that no one loves. (YES, WILD WEED. NO ONE LIKES YOU. EAT A D*CK).

Unfortunately an adjustable height lawnmower is too expensive to invest in (I would rather invest in other stuff like FOOD EHEHEH), and so I have the grass-cutter that those workers use to cut the grass outside. Quite useless though, it runs on motor oil and those plastic blades have to be manually replaced every 5 d*mn minutes while mowing the grass :|.

A good solution I guess would be planting bamboo long term, since the bamboo is like gargantuan grass plants, and they will totally absorb all the nutrients from and around the soil where they are stationed (by yours truly me :V if I get to do that) and cause weaker weeds and normal grass to WITHER AND DIE. That means we will have:

1) Pretty Bamboo around the house

2) No Pesky Wild Weeds

3) No Grass (Saves time to mow them)

WIN WIN!

But seems like my dad loves grass; just dislikes wild weed. Guess there is no escape from my weekly chores that prevent me from enjoying the scenery of my ceiling.

Wild weed is a b*tch.

Killing that Damn :< Bug

Killing a bug may be nothing to most people, but to me - I am killing a living thing that is capable of thinking. No thinking as all humans do, but just thinking; with due sense of having a brain. They have the ability to feel pain, like humans do. They have a need to survive, as most humans do.

So earlier today, I was helping my dad with chores outside in the garden. During one of the more menial jobs (relocating garden tiles, yes those heavy cement blocks that sit in your garden so you can use them as stepping stones), a black ant bit my dad's palm. (It should be honorable to mention that he was bitten twice by two different black ants). As he was well versed in the "arts" of being stung (he was stung by various insects before), he uttered that the bite was comparable to the sting of a honeybee. That said, he ordered me to fetch the "neccesary equipments" so that he can sentence the whole colony to death. You could imagine the look on my face. 

Courtesy of Chiirin | Anime-

www.anime-planet.com

I am that kind of person that will use the power of the kaze 風 (wind) generated from my kuchi 口(mouth) : 風口 or 吹き (blowing winds) to blow a mosquito away when she drinks her fill of my blood instead of smacking it into oblivion, the type that will say sorry to insects that he accidentally steps on - and sentencing a colony to death because of the wrong of a single (or two) worker?

Well some might argue that it is the instincts of the colony to protect the hive, because it is an order by pheromone of the queen. Isn't that more of a reason that these bugs are innocent? If these bugs appear to be humans, you dont see higher ups sentencing a whole village to death because the occupants want to protect their own territory (or maybe they do, but that's in the past).  

Anyways I was thinking that maybe there was no other methods, so I brought the killing machine (Ridsect) and my dad performed the purging of the colony. As much as I try to be a kind person that don't kill uneccesarily, I was reminded again and again by the devil sitting on my right shoulder that I would be a hypocrite, then. I am not a strict herbivore or a vegan. 

My dad reasoned that if the colony was not purged - and instead let to grow; then it would be disastrous for us when we will do even more menial jobs in the future.

Sounds pretty legit, but I couldnt help feeling that I have shed off some humanity. 

After all, there is no right or wrong answer in a universe where reasonings are undefined.