Recently, my dad told us that he was tired of working and wanted a break - and to work as close to home as possible. No one was surprised, really. This was following the recent cases of horrifying aircraft incidents such as hijacks and attacks, and my dad just so happens to be a pilot. Not for an airplane, but for a helicopter (but who cares, its still an aircraft). Inclusive of the fact that Ebola had just started to get into his country of work - his retirement plan is now becoming seemingly a necessity instead of a want.
As the main breadwinner in the family, he works hard to fund all four of his children's education - to a tertiary level, which is no walk in the park; so him wanting to take a well deserved rest is no biggie, really.
I, as the youngest in the family is still pursuing my bachelor studies (third year as in 2014) - with a simple 20% scholarship as there was no better scholarship scheme that fitted my background (Yeah, I am an honest guy that wont dare input false information for a scholarship), and this current scholarship is a bit of a foul because a CGPA of 3.75 is to be maintained for the scholarship to carry forward, and it is just 20% of the fees. I know of better scholarship schemes that offer a full payment of school fees with just a constant maintenance of a 2.00 CGPA, and to think I couldnt apply for it because of my background status (like income, etc) that I didn't dare to forge.
Maintaining a CGPA of 3.75 sounds easy, but it actually isn't. The GPA corresponding to the marks are as such:
80% - 4.00 GPA
75 - 80% - 3.67 GPA
- - -
- which means that I am only allowed to obtain at least more than 80% for all four subjects and have only a few chances to pull the continuous CGPA up if I slip on a few subjects, but not all. The truth is hard and painful, like running into a brick wall. And there is nothing much I can do, except complain and pray that a better scholarship scheme will run headfirst into me; and that chance is also getting slimmer. No one in the right mind will offer a scholarship scheme to a third year student, finishing in another year.
This painful fact is why I try so hard in my studies, though many people might see me as lifeless and booky. I have put aside a few best friends to study, and I regret that deeply even though I don't feel as if I have a choice. I wanted to apologize to them; but I feel as if I will be that little brat that apologizes and then does the same mistake again - and again. 20% is not much, but if it can lessen my dad's burden then it means a lot to me.
I still fear of the day when this scholarship crumbles, even though I try so damn hard to redeem myself in it's grace. I fear of the day my dad will have to work harder even though he wants a break - just to pay for my studies, just to fund something that should no longer hold any more importance to him.
My dad had been trying to offer me the best - he wants me to study overseas, live overseas, experience the life overseas. I tried nicely everytime to offer a counter-excuse to refuse. Why? Because I know he will have to work harder. I know that he will have to suffer in order for me to obtain a meager half-baked experience overseas. Even though the offer seems too good to be true, I would rather work hard with my own sweat and blood to obtain what I want. I know of a few people that have practically begged their family for a chance to be overseas - I do not think of them as spoiled, there might be a pinch of envy in one corner of my heart; but I am happy for them.
I have just started my internship programme last month, on the 14th of June 2014. Working as a trial for not even a year, or thirty years up like my dad - I have already felt depressed and tired. I had practically not much time to do what I loved and wanted, and that was enough to give me suicidal thoughts. Thankfully, my brain had more control over my heart. I am grateful to my brain for self-inducing stupidly optimistic reasons for me to live on - and so I did. This is one of the reasons I felt that my dad should be able to rest if he wants to rest - putting aside the fact that many hap-hazardous incidents are threatening his life.
After the announcement this morning, I went online and looked for reasons that people may retire and what might happen to them; and I became more understanding towards my dad's plea for a break. If you want to read more about it, you can read it here: http://www.financialsamurai.com/the-dark-side-of-early-retirement-risks-dangers/
I just hope that my dad will not feel like he is useless in society's eyes after he takes a break - and if he continues looking for a new job in his homecountry, then I hope that he gets a relaxing job.
XOXO
KiiKii the Yu
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