Quarrels

Quarrels happen very frequently in my household. Yes- quarrels are essential for a better relationship, but the quarrels in my household gets everyone nowhere. Besides being pointless, it makes everyone HATE and DISRESPECT each other more instead of building a stronger relationship.

I am freaking tired of quarrels that happen right in front of my eyes. If you people want to quarrel, bring it somewhere else. Why do I have to put up with this?

Case 1

Dad + Mom

Quarrels. 50% of the time, the quarrels are caused by me. They sometimes quarrel over me. Over how incompetent I am in life. Over how useless I am. Pointless. Utterly pointless. They also quarrel over some other confidential stuff. The way I freaking see everything, it is pointless. This is a pointless debate. A meaningless discussion. Both sides think that they are right. Both sides already closed their mind. They already set a device restricting access of any opinions, but allowing only their self opinions. One says the other is a self opinioned person, but nevertheless fail to realize his/her own attitude in handling said problems.

Pains my heart to see how the pointless activity damages household mood, lowers my respect for both parties and scars everyone's life.

Mom + Sis

Quarrels almost everyday. Over how dangerous life is. When sis wants to go out, a quarrel will break out. Sure, parents will worry about their child, but a scenario goes like this.

1. Parent scolds child bitterly. Child obeys parents and grow up to hate them.
2. Parent scolds child bitterly. Child doesn't obey parents. Child goes out, and take for instance die with the memories of parent scolding him/her bitterly.
3. Parent tells child gently, child understands and grow up to respect them.
4. Parent tells child gently, child dies in a case with memories of his/her gentle parents.
5. Shit
6. Shit
7. Shit

It is not hard for a religiously inclined person to understand the simple concept of compassion. If you do not abide by the ways of compassion, your involvement in religious activities can be said to go to waste.

Sibling Quarrel

I grew up with a facade that everybody should live together in peace and harmony. When I see people quarrel, it annoys me. When my siblings quarrel POINTLESSLY, it wounds me. It happened once, and I won't see each and every one of my siblings the same way again.

When I find someone I don't know annoying me, I will ignore them. Many choose to punch annoying rascals in the face. But for siblings, they must give and take. ( Not as in exchanging fists )

Why not a formal discussion instead of a stupid quarrel?

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It sure seem to round up that almost every quarrel that happen in this household is a fault of mine.

Why am I the only one that seem to be able to let go of internal emotions joggling the mind so that It doesn't cause conflicts?

I wish I can leave this household soon.

Omnomnomnom

This is my BRUNCH for today. Holidays are getting on my nerves, causing me to wake up as "early" as twelve. I missed breakfast, so I had to go for a brunch instead. Cooked by my sister.

> Stir fried food (carrots, lettuce and franks)

> Fried ground meat

Om the nomnom.

Time

You fly pass me very quickly.

yes, you do.

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It was like it was just yesterday I graduated from high school. It was like just yesterday everything started. I can still remember everything clearly right from the root.

Being in the tense examination hall, wearing my sweaty school uniform.. hair being like one of a soldier's.. Being done with the examination, moving on with life, into a higher tier of education..

I still remember some big fat white furball rubbing against my legs, being everywhere I was to listen to what I have to say, the sad things I want to express..



But for all I know, she would be in a better place right now. She wouldn't have to endure much more suffering like at the very final moments of her life. For that, I am thankful. I will continue to be happy for her.

It was also just like it was just yesterday that I finished my foundation course. During the term, I met lots of awesome people. Everyone was a little scary at first, but after you get to know them you will literally scream with joy every time you meet them.

I met people from many countries, learned many things about their life, but my interest never falters. Not after all this while, but always. I am still interested in Japan.

Nearing the current timeline, I met a person from Japan over the internet. Chatted a while. It widened my interest in Japan. I don't care if its a nuclear infested country or what anyone says. I would rather be a monster that lived in Japan than an ignorant brat that doesn't want to see the land of dreams.

It was like everything just happened yesterday.... or today... or maybe it did happen today..?

All I know now is that Chinese New Year comes... NEXT WEEK.

What do I do..? what do I DO?? I am not mentally prepared yet!!

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I am eighteen going on nineteen. I AM NOT MENTALLY PREPARED TO PLUNGE INTO THE WORLD OF ADULTS DAMN YOU AGING SYSTEM.

So until I am ready again, I am still a sweet, young and childish fifteen year old. Thank you very much.

Midnight

Things to do at MIDNIGHT?

There is a lot actually. For me, I usually SLEEP at midnight. During holidays however something happens to stretch my bedtime over the midnight barrier and I always end up sleeping at one to two. It is not much, but it gets me this tiredness the next morning.

Sometimes I cant sleep because my pillow gets too warm. If possible I would like a pillow that stays cool forever. A water pillow?

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I spend my days reading manga more than watching anime now- most of the manga are actually more detailed in terms of script and storyline than the anime. The manga is also longer than the anime series itself.

I have begun picking up on these mangas

1. The World Only God Knows

A manga with a very interesting storyline. It starts off boring but it gets better later on. It is about a guy that spends his time playing dating sim games- and something happens that forces him to use the tactics he had learned from the game and apply it in real life to capture girls.

2. The Cage of Eden

A great manga based on the survivability of humans on an island full of prehistoric animals ( Andrewsarchus, Smilodon, Diatryma etc. ) The animals are vicious even though they might be herbivors. With almost no resources, they have to use their brains and physical energy to survive. Great read.

3. Beelzebub

A funny manga about the demon king's son, Beelzebub that has to be guardian-ed by a high school gangster. As the series go on, the main character becomes more and more powerful, even surpassing many demons.

4. Fairy Tail

Needless to say, I continued on the manga that I had given up on. It became more and more interesting somehow.


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I feel so lifeless now. Sure I have a life but I feel that I am not doing anything worthwhile with it. Sigh. Nothing to do until job/school starts.

Goodbye :)